2 Weeks Ago
2 Weeks ago in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class on Monday, I was in mid roll of my first of three rolls of the night. My training partner went to pass my guard as I was going for a sweep, keep in mind I am 224lbs and my training partner is every bit of the same size as me, and we tripped each other up. All his weight came down on his left knee, which landed directly on my right calf muscle. I immediately felt what felt like being stabbed on the point of impact, yes I have been stabbed before so I know exactly how that feels. The pain quickly subsided as we continued our roll. I knew something wasn’t right though I pressed on anyway. I don’t like losing. I went on with my next 2 rolls and performed horribly, but I couldn’t quit. Class is over at 9 pm and I have a 20 minute drive home, and have to be at work at 10 for my overnight shift at my second job. I proceeded to perform my duties at work until my go home time of 3am, even though I could feel the pressure on my calf. I was still on my Jiu Jitsu high until I got home, jumped in the shower, and laid down to sneak 3 hours of sleep before having to get up and get the kids ready for school. 6:30 rolled around and it was time to get up and kick start the day. I popped up, put my feet down stood and BOOM! I went down. The pain shot up through my leg and I knew I was in real bad shape. I climbed to my feet and limped into the living room and sat on the couch, the pain was real, and I was scared. “What the Hell did I do?” My right calf was double the size of my left and I had a huge ball on the inside of my calf. It was rock hard and did NOT like being touched! It was at this point I knew I am not going to work at my day job nor my night job. Gym and BJJ was out of the question too. All I could think was how much time on the mat and in the gym I was about to miss. I also was not going to the VA to get my doctor to check it out. That is a 60 minute drive and a full day wait if you are lucky, and I was really not going to try to do that much limping for that long. I held it together long enough to see the girls off on the bus and I went back to the bed to nurse my wound with an ice pack. This was seriously bad news for my workout regime and the fact that I just started a blog and website dedicated to my progress. My whole leg from the knee down turned purple, all the way down to my feet. I had ripped my calf muscle really good.
After a couple of days I could limp without pain. It wasn’t fair for me to stay home and rob the children of their Jiu Jitsu classes. Wednesday I packed up the girls Gi’s and water and headed to our BJJ school for the kids class, which I am usually a participant in as a training dummy and to help the coach with watching the kids. When we arrived we parked and got out of the truck and walked towards the entrance. We always get there early to make sure we are not ever late, and Coach was outside talking with a couple of members of the adult class that have children that come to kids class. It was no secret why we were not there Tuesday. Coach’s face turned to surprise then to almost shock. He asked me “What in the Hell did you do to your leg?” It was now clear to my coaches that I would not be participating in class, nor helping prepare our contenders for the upcoming tournament. Both of my coaches let me know they understand and to not try to come back to soon because that will make it worse. They were right.
Today marks the first day of week 3. The bruising is gone and the lump and tenderness is still there, however, I am walking and working just fine. Since I went live with this blog over the weekend, I cant sit by and do nothing. So today I visited my gym. Mondays are my leg days but not this time. My routine is already off so what the heck, lets get in there and do something so I can use it for this blog.
I did arms today for an hour. Biceps and triceps only. It was a slap in the face when I realized how much harder it was to lift what I was used to lifting 2 weeks ago. GRRRRRR! Hard work put on hold equals more hard work. I used my typical weights and did as many reps as possible with my normal rep/set activity. It kicked my butt. Honestly for a moment I had a stint of mental weakness. I wanted to put down the weights and walk out. Chalk it up to being injured. That was an excuse. I couldn’t come home and type on this new blog that I quit because it was hard. That is the exact opposite of what I am trying to do here. I continued too drive forward. Now I am glad I canned the negative thoughts and the devil on the shoulder that says just go, walk away, its easier if you do. The workout is behind me now, complete. Another day forward working on my goal.
That is one mind set I want to infect you with. It is easy to make an excuse to not go and make it happen, but start thinking about how 5 hours from now it would already be done and behind me, and what did I do to fill the time where I could be making progress? Exactly, you could have sat aside that hour or so to make progress. When you think about it like that, you start holding yourself more accountable. Believe me, there are days where I go through my first workout of the day and am thankful I did it, then start justifying why it would be ok to skip the second work out. Pushing to go make it happen, regardless of how much I didn’t want to be there, I am always more grateful when the second workout is complete. I go home and crawl into the shower then bed knowing I did the right thing for myself. It feels soooooooooo good! The day is now behind me, and I am better tomorrow than I was today. Give that a moment and think about it. You can do it if I can. I believe in you, believe in yourself! Love you guys